''...girl, interrupted...''

...or a life, interrupted maybe?...thats certainly how it feels to me at the moment...
..as tóti writes in his daily blog its been a rough few weeks for us all, added to a rough few months since our arrival in Iceland and at times it just gets too much...
we are in a state of flux again..planning a move back to UK, hoping and praying that this is the right move and my almost constant worrying about everything and anything..primarily the safety of my children but also about teaching, work, isolation..in short (and as my dear friend Deb pointed out to me yesterday) I simply have too much time on my hands and little quality of life to enjoy...and all this in a land where we felt we could thrive and our children blossom in a safe and supportive environment...which makes me feel as if this year will have been a failure, despite the rational side of me being able to recognise all the positives..
..but Deb is right..my quality of life here is not one of fulfillment and whilst the safety of ones children is of paramount importance, a happy, secure, content life ultimately breeds emotional security..I want to be able to use the skills that i have worked so hard upon...I became a community nurse when Jolyon was born (actually securing the post when I was very pregnant) and went back to a new job with a new baby, new house and then started studying again, which was no picnic... completing my Batchelors degree in a year was certainly a challenge..I was a single mum working full-time, with a full caseload and studying and working over 5 days per week (JT said she didn't see me smile at work for a whole year!!) and then 2 years later I set off on the study trail again..still a single mum with a Master of Philosophy degree on the horizon...pleasantly interrupted I might add by meeting my future husband :-)...but a challenging and fulfilling time...giving birth pain-relief-free twice (!!), raising 2 happy children, completing that Masters degree, working with a great team (hi! girls!)...and that is where I want to be now... this girl, interrupted wants so desperately to be back into a life of family, friends, gym, happy children, happy marriage, challenging career...and that, I guess, is what Deb helped me to clarify yesterday...so not a failed year but one where we have been able to become a true and genuine part of our viking family, where my children have made all sorts of achievements, from learning a new language to surviving without satellite tv (!)and where tóti and myself have realised that we truly are each others best friends...
...girl, interrupted 'tis true...but this interruption has been one of challenge and achievement and, upon reflection, it will be always be good to look back on this time and remember all the things one has learnt about oneself when faced with adversity...take care dearest ones...we love you all...from J,T,J and E xxxxxx