''...still waiting...''

Hello everyone and I'm sure the know the feeling...waiting for other people to do what you need/want them to do (like me actually putting an entry on the blogsite?!)..but that is what the Burton-Freysson family is well and truly stuck with at the moment..and it won't surprise you to hear that it is solicitors we are waiting for..and our lovely new house. T has been really great and is regularly mithering the solicitor, as we really do need to be moving at the end of January (for practical aswell as emotional reasons!) but we have not quite given up hope and are dearly hoping that my birthday present for the 1st Feb will be lots of packing boxes in our new and shiny home.
I especially feel that this is what is needed to help us settle again..I am very unsettled, mood up-and-down, lonely and unfulfilled and I really do need a base to put down some roots and relax and reflect upon what has gone and what is to come.Whilst I enjoy some days at work, there are others that I don't and I swing between agreeing to stay where I am for a year, to being desperate to leave asap.I know that in-patient care is not for me but I also know that this is good management experience..but it is easier than I expected and I am better at it than I imagined so perhaps it isn't turning out to be the professional challenge I anticipated? And whilst Band 7 posts beckon, they are so far removed from clinical work that I am more and more reluctant to consider them.So, what it has helped me to do is realise that I would like to move into either practice development or service user/carer involvment work (still my professional baby!) and I think that come later in the year I will probably be looking to move out of the NHS and into advocacy or charitable organisations..something I have thought of for a long time, but have never felt strong enough to do. The NHs comfort zone is not needed anymore..especially as the NHS isn't the safety blanket it used to be where long-term careers are involved?
T is enjoying his job and I am envious of him being out and about and working directly with carers.But he has got through the first part of his police application and will attend an assessment centre soon for the second part (probably the most psychologically demanding). He is still struggling with his knee though so I am trying to help him to get it fixed (we need your help Adrian!). I am tryng to get back into a fitness routine too..ahh, for a set of weights and a yoga mat..as with most things, packed in a container awaiting the removal date...!
So full circle...yep, that move really does have so many positive implications for us...keep your fingers crossed...it will be great for the boys too but J and EBB are really settling at school and nursery and that is such a relief. J did well in his exams and E has stopped crying when we leave him in toddler room, so at least 2 boys doing well..they need their own space tho..I'll second that..!!!
Best Wishes to every one of our regular and occasional readers..hope to see some of you soon..lots of love from J and 3 boys xxxxxx :-)

"...desperation, isolation and personal space..."

...it's been a while I know, but I returned to the land of the employed on Christmas Day (!) and have been working fulltime, finding little opportunity to actually reach the PC (it is in the boys bedroom, unfortunately..)...so the entries may be few and far between for now but I don't intend to resign like my ex-blogging husband!
So now we are all trying to adjust to yet another change in routine, made that bit more difficult by the fact that I am now working shifts for the 1st time in 10 years..J is finding that bit hard to understand, as is his baby brother and my body is now so confused that it spends most of the night looking at the clock...
..but I have a very understanding ward manager and modern matron and they are helping me find that work-life balance and whilst my new role has been a bit of an eye-opener after working in the same NHS Trust for the preceeding 10 years, I am starting to settle down and enjoy it.
It's strange being back in a ward environment but the leadership/management experience is proving a challenge and that is what I needed to work on developing, in order to finally move on within my profession and achieve (at least initially) that elusive band 7 post.
The sale of our house is moving well too and we seem to be oncourse to move at the end of the month which is what we all need...we are all struggling with not having a home and base of our own and, unfortunately are tending to take it out on each other- although I am relieved to say we are getting on fine with my parents. J needs his own friends and his independence, as do we all, but it was good news that J went back to school on Thursday and made a new friend...who has just started at his school too. So a common bond was forged and 2 lonely boys happily built a bridge across the sea of lost souls ;-).
EBB is enjoying nursery although is finding it hard to understand where Mummy is sometimes (3 early shifts this week, so I was up and gone before the boys were even stirring) and that makes me feel guilty.So I am not sure how long I will continue to work shifts..but that is at least a year down the line yet...
Lots more to settle, sort and rectify in the mean time...so keep watching this space and I will try to update as often as I can...
Love to all in Iceland, England and the rest...we think of you all often and miss our happy times and our friends out there near the Arctic circle...
With best wishes and lots of personal space from J and 3 boys xxxxxx :-)